Category Archives: World Cup 2022

Oliver Cromwell or Charles Stuart?

What on earth is going on? Not only we have a French Revolution, but now an English Civil War has broken out. Let’s look at England first of all, indeed let’s completely ignore the French, what they have done collectively is just plain daft, on every level.

Times have changed since Sir Alf and Bobby Moore led England to their one and only trophy, indeed they have changed beyond all belief in the 20 years since Italia 90.

With Sky and other media camped on the doorstep of ‘Team England’ in Rustenberg, there is a need for news every five minutes. This leads to journalists and players filling their endless hours with occasional snippets for us punters. If we just switch the lot off and take no notice, perhaps things will change. Then again, can we actually do this? Probably not. History however, suggests that we the punters actually drive the demand for ‘news’ whether it has any grounds or not.

If we go back to Italia 90, we go back into very different days. Not only did we not have social networking, we did not have mobiles ( really) digital cameras or indeed anyway of communicating outside of postcards, land line telephones and speech. Media controlled it all. TV and newspapers were king. I remember being in the Forte Village near Caligari in Sardinia, the hotel where Bobby Robson and his coach Don Howe were staying, the day after England had drawn with the Republic of Ireland. The English media, or more accurately the English press led by Harry Harris of the Mirror, Brian Woolnough of The Sun and Joe Melling of the Daily Express led mass assault on Mr Robson’s door, demanding to know what the hell was going on. These were the same newspaper reporters that had demanded that England be sent home, such was their display against the Irish. The same reporters that sat in a bar after the game and compared notes, got an accord on the ‘angle’ and drew their daggers as one. I know this not because I read it in their miserable ‘newspapers’ but because I saw it with my own eyes. Indeed a good friend of mine and I hounded Harris for years to come, because he quite frankly had it in for the England football team. I don’t know whether Harry ever played football, maybe he did, but he certainly never showed an ounce of sympathy with England players. Even the ‘respected’ journalist Jeff Powell (from the Daily Mail) would be seen to fall off many a bar stool post match, before meeting up with colleagues to discuss ‘what line was being taken’. Anyway, these were different days. The players, through senior professionals injured captain Bryan Robson and Gary Lineker, approached Bobby Robson and suggested a change of tactics. The tactics were duly changed in time for the last group game against Egypt, which we sneaked 1-0 through a goal by the new sweeper in th 3-5-2, Mark Wright.

The rest was history, Bobby Robson became a legend, the players all loved him and with a bit of luck England got through to the semi-finals and then lucked out against the Germans, just before we were able to take on our nemesis from four years previous, Mr Maradonna and his famous left hand.

Fast forward to 2010 and we have our ex skipper, ex for good reason, deciding to hold a press conference, yesterday. A clear the air meeting with the boss of all bosses is announced and flowered up with stuff like ‘I was born for this’. The press, through their Twitter accounts urge Mr Capello to ‘listen to the players’ after all the system and approach we have taken has definitely not worked. The meeting is then held and today another Chelsea superstar, Frank Lampard decides to hold a press conference to ‘lighten the mood, support ‘JT’ and the manager and tell us all about the merits of David Beckham ‘(off the pitch rather than on it).

The eventful 24 hours ends with Mr Capello doing his press conference and declaring that ‘John Terry has made a big mistake’. All very confusing and frankly a little too out in the open for anyone’s liking. Poor old Joe Cole, disregarded by Mr Capello and seconded by ‘JT’. He must feel like he is between a rock and a hard place ( you can put ‘JT’ and Mr Capello in either of those roles!).

I have no idea who is right or wrong, or indeed whether anyone IS right or wrong. All I know is of you look at winning managers, people like Sir Alex Ferguson and Jose Mourinho, would they allow an ex Captain and still in the team, come out in public and criticise them? Really? Like it or not, and I happen to like it, Steven Gerrard is our skipper. If anyone was going to talk to the manager or indeed the press, should it not be him?

Mr Capello comes from the old school. Maybe a little outdated when managing or using post modernist language, ‘working with’ modern day footballing millionaires, but he has won at the top level. Ok not a World Cup, but pretty much everything else. In the modern era Italians have a vastly superior record to the English. Through rigid discipline, adherence to tactics, professionalism and a belief, they have won two World Cups since we last won one. Pop next door to Germany and they have won two since losing the final in 66.

Given our brilliant qualifying campaign and our equally woeful record in World Cups (one semi in 44 years, failing to qualify for three World Cups since we won) you would think that our players would have the sense to sit up and listen. Equally our players are not Italian and have different playing attributes. There are some major concerns with the way we line up, the tactics we play and the pace at which we play the game.

Surely it is time for a rethink, a discussion and above all a coming together? Mr Terry and Mr Capello have crossed swords, never a good thing for two strong characters. Indeed did Terry have any hand in removing Grant and Scolari at Chelsea? But to do it in public feels wrong, maybe it is time to kiss, make up and stop including the wretched media all of whom seem to believe they have a right to not only pick the team, but blueprint the tactics and approach.

The talking stops in less than 48 hours. Let’s see what the players do, after all it is them passing, tackling and shooting. Talking off the pitch is great, but only when the talking on the pitch has been done.

Sir Alf and Sir Bobby would be turning in their respectie graves.

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We’ve ‘ad it Rough

Tuesday 15th June (published Monday 21st June)

So we arrived in a damp and breezy Cape Town and met up with the boys, Steve (Eva Major), Alan (Eva Minor), Dave (Sweeney Todd) and (Swiss) Jimmy in the Ferryman’s bar on the wonderful Waterfront. Significant absentees from previous years were Shaun, John, Colin, Mark, Simon J , Shane, Rollerblade Ronnie, Robert and Uncle Nelson. If the tournament progresses from an England perspective, we will no doubt see a few late comers. Indeed word was out that Jack (Eva Minimus) was going to get out for the Slovenia game. Dave told me that Nelson did not come because his mum had asked him to stay in England ‘as it is very dangerous in South Africa and she would worry herself sick if he made the trip’. Nelson’s mum is in her 90’s so you can understand why he never made the trip. Maybe next time, in Rio when Nelson gets his Freedom Pass, he will be allowed to travel. Needless to say everyone misses him, especially when he refers to everyone as ‘mush’, although most of don’t miss the smoking. You really do notice the smoking out here, it is everywhere, indoors and out. Amazing, given that it was only outlawed in pubs a few years back, that it really does stink.

It was good to see the boys finally for a proper beer and something to eat. Banter button was firmly switched to ‘ON’ although it was difficult to keep up with the pace from the first minute, which ironically was somewhat in keeping with our footballers.

Steve announced that he had bought a new camera, two infact as he had already dropped one. When I asked him how much that had set him back it was only ‘two and an half’. Cheap ;-)) the boys had been sleeping 3 to a room, with Swiss Jimmy rooming alone. Clearly one of the trio had taken to snoring and so the other two had had less sleep than would be advisable on a trip such as this. The strain was showing on Alan and Dave’s faces, which pointed the finger at Steve, despite several denials. Indeed nothing is ever easy with these boys, as their luggage had gone missing between Johannesburg and Cape Town and they had gone a day without clean kecks, never pleasant. Their kit eventually showed up, and all was temporarily back to ‘normal’ although tempers as well as gussets were frayed.

The boys had met Viv Anderson and Paul Elliot the previous night. Viv was apparently in top form, but Paul Elliot took a dislike to Steve. Dave had asked which player ended Paul Elliot’s career, and prompted the conversation by adding it was ‘that long haired geezer from Liverpool’, (Dean Saunders) to which Steve chipped in with ‘who, Jimmy Osmond?’ I think the conversation went downhill from there on in.

The boys showed us their boxes of ‘Zee Trix’ which they had bought earlier – basically a card trick box with wires. Promises were made to entertain us all ala David Nixon in the days to come, so far however, we have had more Richard Nixon than David. Entry into the Magic Circle is being considered for next season, but practice will be needed.

We decided to eat and selected a wonderful restaurant, Belthazar which served brilliant food. Steve ordered ‘ostrich with a jacket’ and so it all the japery began again. Conversation ebbed from the wistful love of ‘On The Buses’, ‘turnips (which were actually sweet potatoes) tasting like cooked bananas’, ‘five hours to get back from f**king Rustenberg’, ‘we ain’t ‘ad time to text let alone call the Mrs’ and ‘we’ve ‘ad it rough’.

We left on a high, with discussions of what to do tomorrow ranging from shark diving in a cage (not Steve’s idea of fun), to a trip to Table Mountain. An earlier night than normal showed we were four years older, mind you, with Steve and Dave unable to read texts or a menu at normal length without their bins, I think we all know we are a little older, but none the wiser. Happy days!

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Leaving on a Jet Plane

Tuesday 15th June (published Monday 21st June Andy’s blog)

The day we say goodbye to Dom and Nat’s wonderful hospitality and leave Johannesburg, headed for the south and the city of Cape Town. We left some of our more extreme winter kit at Dom’s taking a chance that the horrid weather we had seen at the Italy vs Paraguay gane would pass and we would be dry, a decision that was to turn out to be a right one.

We had fortunately booked a flight, I saw ‘we’ in fact I mean Kirsty had booked a flight a day before we left England, when she checked the map and realised that Johannesburg to Cape Town is 1800kms apart. Good thinking and a good move all round, it would have taken 3 days by car. We flew from the smaller Lanseira airport which was really rather nice, sort of Stansted style but about a quarter of the size. Check in and security were quicksticks and the whole process rather civilised I have to say. We had run into a police escort on the way to the airport, which according to our driver was ‘no doubt another pile of FIFA offlcials be treated to the VIP treatment’. In fact he was by his own admission a ‘Cape Coloured from Cape Town’ andi like a lot of people we had met on this trip, increasing cynical of FIFA and it’s whole morals, approach and values. Again, like others, he did suggest some cynicism about the clean up of crime and increased police presence for this World Cup. I would like to think that a few myths about South Africa may well be exploded, time will tell, but so far we had heard very little negative news stories outside of the strikes by some of the workers over disputes about pay and conditions. There had apparently been a small riot the night of the Germany vs. Australia match by match workers and security staff, which the justice minister had decried on TV.

Anyway, we bid farewell to our driver, another man who knew tons about football in general. When he told me that ‘England are a great team on paper’, I told him football was played on grass and not paper, which he found hilarious. Hopefully he is using that one around Johannesburg now!

The flight was superb, the cabin crew announcements were littered with jokes, ironies and dryness straight out of Catch 22. Everyone from the girl on the check in, security and crew had a smile on their faces, something we could all probably learn a lot from.

We sat next to Dean Lazarus, a young South African chap on the flight, a really nice bloke who I chatted with most of the way. He was studying in Cape Town and loved the place to bits, something we were to agree with very soon. Dean was into cars, loved Top Gear and was reading Jeremy Clarkson’s latest book. Mr Clarkson, and Top Gear are incredibly popular out here. Not a totally surprising fact when you think about it. Dean’s family were involved in motor sport and car manufacturing and were launching a new spots car called the Perana. (see http://www.perana.com). He was a little worried about the Top Gear team’s eventual review of the car, so my thoughts are with him as we all know how critical critics can be sometimes, after all look at the England football fans’ critique of England’s performance against USA!

Bidding farewell to Dean, we looked for Papa G, our driver from the Cape Milner Hotel. Following precise instructions (unusual for us) we found said Papa bedecked in a England woolly hat and scarf. He whizzed us into the city centre, passing the township of Khayelitsha which apparently houses over 1 million people and looks like an awful place to live or more accurately ‘exist’. The name means ‘new home’ in Xhosa. As the township is located about one hour’s drive in a cramped bus or minivan taxi, from the city centre and industrial centres. It could just as well mean ‘early start’ given the journey time for those ‘lucky’ enough to work. From the outside, for it was only the outside we ever saw, the dwellings look like small, rusty, tin houses, uneven and unsafe. God knows what it must be like when the rains come and when the cold wind drives across their bows. I read a phrase which seemed to sum things up perfectly, ‘as the rich gets richer, the poor get Khayelitsha’. This is a place where murder and rape are eveywhere, running water scarce, plumbing non existent and electricity rare. Unemployment is 60% and life is harsh. We don’t realise how fortunate we are do we?

We met up with Steve, Alan, Dave and Jimmy later in Cape Town down at the V&A Waterfront really happy times, but more on that a little later.

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Team Glad Rags and Handbags

Match Day – Friday 18th June published Sunday 20th June (Kirsty’s blog)

So match day has arrived, excitement is in the air but there’s definitely an undercurrent of nervousness.

We head down to the Waterfront to meet the Evas, Dave and Jimmy. Simon has texted to say that they’re having Lunch at a sushi restaurant around the coast a bit, that sounds lovely to me but ‘im indoors says we can’t go out to lunch on match day…eating’s cheating! (In retrospect this turns out to be a suspect decision as Simon and Chris enjoyed lunch alongside three breaching whales and I’ve been hoping to spot whales the whole time I’ve been here, they didn’t rub it in though…much). Pilks is on his way from Joburg for his eighth game in eight days, mainly by car, amazing!

We find the boys in fine fettle in the Ferrymans Tavern and the banter begins. They’ve been on the blog and Eva Major is disgruntled that he’s been discussed in derogatory terms and that his snoring and abluting habits have been broadcast to all and sundry, though I pointed out that I’m only reporting what I’ve been told. Loads of pictures were taken and as I posted them on facebook, the question of everyone’s World Cup 2010 nicknames arose as I needed a caption for the pics. So we have Swiss Jimmy on account of him being neutral in arguments and not taking sides, Sweeney Todd Dave due to his cut throat bloodfest shaving antics, Grisly Adams Al (he’s hasn’t shaved at all yet!), Ewok Eva because of a picture with his hair everywhere, Santa Payne as the pictures revealed a grey beard that was invisible to the human eye and ‘bird in the wilderness’ (I’ve booked a getaway in the Wilderness region for Andy and I and refuse to tell the boys where it is in case they follow us) or ‘waste of a ticket’ – the old favourite’.

Though you’ll be pleased to hear that I’ve got my own back secretly and they won’t realise until they read this but I’ve managed to convince them that they’re staying in the heart of the gay and lesbian district where the annual gay pride festival takes place (Cape Town has a fantastic thriving gay scene) and that their accomodation is listed as ‘pink friendly’ in the gay hotel guides, as all four of them are staying in the same room, the other guests won’t be able to figure out who’s with who! It could be Ewok with Swiss or Sweeny with Grisly, though the lack of shaving means that at least two of them could be ‘bears’ ;o)

Anyway, after a lot of drinking and a lot of laughing we head to the stadium and the atmosphere is fantastic, you might not have heard it over the vuvuzelas on the TV but the England fans are singing loud and proud…until kick off.

All I can say is that the dissapointment at England’s performance was all around the stadium, by the end of the game the players were booed off (something that Rooney took exception to apparently), though the game was poor and England were poor, we’ll have to pull something completely different out of the bag to even get past the group games. In my humble opinion, we didn’t look like we even wanted to win, there was no heart, soul or passion and I know the Algerians are big and physical but they easily got us off the ball and all of our players looked like they didn’t want to get stuck in and risk getting injured. We seem to have an abundance of ‘career footballers’ who want to earn the money and protect their career, the old days of a sense of pride in playing for your country might be gone. Compare our performance to USA and Slovenia, we saw heart and spirit in that game. Though I’ll go along with Andy and remain positive, England always play better when under pressure, so let’s see some passion in Port Elizabeth, get behind the team and hopefully we’ll be rewarded for our support.

Our last day in Cape Town tomorrow, we’ll certainly make the most of it.

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Way up high and creatures of the deep

Thursday 16th June (published Sunday 20th June – Kirsty’s blog)

Apparently Andy’s Mum and Dad have now spotted us on Look East TV too, the newsdesk have now asked us to try and send them some video footage as well as more stills, I’m guessing Mrs Miggins has found her missing cat and they have to fill the empty news space.

We had another early start and arose in the dark in order to tackle Table Mountain – well tackle the cable car queue, as apparently if you don’t get there first thing then the average queue is about 2 hours.

Simon arrived in a cab at about ten past eight, though despite military precision planning I had forgotten my handbag so had to go back upstairs for it (it’s obviously always essential that you take a handbag on a mountain trekking expedition).

The cab dropped us at the cable car and we went straight on with no queues, we were extraordinarily lucky with the weather too as we had planned this expedition in advance but every other morning the mountain had been shrowded in cloud and mist, though this morning it was bathed in glorious sunshine and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, perfect conditions for a spot of gentle trekking.

The view from the top is absolutely amazing, we’re so high that the new stadium and even Robben Island are dwarfed from up here. We don’t really start out with a particular planned route, our philosophy was to walk towards the sun as it was perishingly cold in the shade.

We had the most wonderful walk with stunning scenery for an hour or so without actually being worried about where we were geographically or whether we were lost or not, but after about three hours it started to cross my mind that none of us had any idea of where we were on the mountain. I idly started to ponder on the tricky question that if we were lost/stranded for any length of time, who I would eat first. I made the mistake of voicing my concerns about our whereabouts and also sharing my quandry about where my next meal was coming from, in answer to this, both Simon and Andy pointed out that it would make sense to eat the person with the most superfluous flesh…mmm, that would be me then! I quickened my pace, picking up considerable speed, began consulting the iphone compass app and took our current location far more seriously than I had previously.

As we trekked on, we reached the far end of the long flat summit (hence the moniker Table Mountain) and after a couple of photo opps at the highest point, Simon and Andy decide to take a steep looking route that required a bit of a tricky descent and some scrambling and clambering, I on the other hand decided to go back the same way, as I didn’t like the look of their route. Unfortunately I’d forgotten that on our ascent the climb was just as steep and scrambly. After a couple of attempts to get down with my handbag strapped to me and completly getting in the way, I had to give up and shout for help. Andy duly returned for me and we successfully negotiated what seems like a ten foot rock face with nothing to hold on to (in reality it was just a bit steep), just about got down without having to set up an intricate rope and pulley system.

Now I don’t think I have a particular problem with heights, I’ve never suffered from vertigo and have enjoyed sky diving in the past, however the sheer drops of thousands of feet off the edge of Table Moutain are scary as hell! As we turn back along the opposite ridge the paths get narrower and narrower and I’m starting to feel more uneasy. A young American boy fell and died here last week and a couple of weeks before that a young Brit also fell to her death in bad weather conditions, this was going through my mind when we found ourselves on the tiniest ledges with the most enormous drops…it was horrible! In fact I can’t describe how horrible it was, I was leaning as far away from the edge as possible but I was still more than aware without even looking, at how high we were. This wasn’t helped by Andy and Simon keep exclaiming how high we were and what a huge drop it was, while standing right on the very edge and looking down and at one point leaping from one ledge to another with about a two thousand foot drop gorge between!

I’d never experienced it before but I felt sick, dizzy, sweaty, shaky and my stomach was churning worse than any roller coaster…I think I might have mentioned it one or twice but it was horrible!

As I’m now writing this, you can surmise that I survived and so did the boys, though they enjoyed the scary bits far more than me but they probably enjoyed winding me up even more by standing right on the vertiginous edge!

We checked out the Rock Dassies, cute little guinee pig type things that seem to sleep dangling precariously from the south face of the mountain and then made our way back down to sea level.

Given that we’d trekked for four hours, we decided to treat ourselves to a slap up lunch of sushi, prawns, squid, ostrich and fine wines! Followed by a trip to the aquarium (probably a little insensitive given what we’d had for lunch but hey ho) where we spent a brilliant afternoon.

A perfect day and nobody died on the mountain…hurrah!

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Inspiration

‘There are few misfortunes in the world that you cannot turn into a personal triumph if you have the iron will and necessary skill.’

Just one of the quotes from the great man, Nelson Mandela. England, believe and deliver

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Count to eleven, breathe deeply and pause for reflection

Saturday 19th June – Cape Town (published same day – Andy)

OK so it was not the best game of football and I came out of the ground in a very black mood. Black as coal, I didn’t want to have a drink afterwards, although I did get persuaded for one. I was even accused of ‘losing it’ by Steve, not in a mad way, but with reference to my passion and committment. He could be right. A good night’s sleep and t have woken up with some optimism – we are now effectively in the knock out stages and that is where we, England,  get better. Indeed we have a game advantage now in that we must win or go home so no ‘nothing game’ to play out, the next game could be our last, and that’s how we like it.  The pressure is on, we, the fans now expect they, the team to deliver. There have to be changes, not wholesale, but fundamental tactical changes – ditch Heskey, put Gerrard in behind Rooney, put Joe Cole in and play Dawson not Upson (althought that is unlikely to happen) as Carragher is (fortunately) suspended. It s now time to show the proper bull dog spirit and either go down fighting or march on to the second stages. All is not lost, the fans me included booed the team off last night and I make no apology for that at all. We have taken time out and spent a load of money following England down the years, so we actually have the right to express pleasure or displeasure. Sorry Wayne. Sorry Fabio. Sorry FIFA.
South Africa is a wonderful country with loads of fantastic sights and sounds. But it is a country fundamentally flawed by money or the lack of it for the vast majority of the people. There are the very rich, a few, and the very poor, a lot. Poverty is something that England’s footballers will never experience. May be they should pause for reflection, admit how lucky and favoured they are and get their heads down and play like the Americans. Never thought I would say this, but well played USA. If there is one team out here who espouses the never say die spirit, it is them. They have gained a new fan and I for one would be pleased to see them win this competition, if we don’t.  World football needs someone new, a team who cares. England, your time is at 4pm local time, Wednesday 23rd June 2010, Port Elizabeth, South Africa. xxx
 
Keep your flights, when do you arrive – we are going all the way to the semi finals. Trust me
 
Andy

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Cheese & Wine & Cheetahs

Wednesday 16th June published Friday 18th June (Kirsty’s blog)

Before I start I have to mention that Scouse John was in touch last night to tell us that when he sat down to have his tea one evening this week and he happened to hear the names Mr & Mrs Payne mentioned on the news (Look East region) and looked up to see a picture of Andy and I at the Holland vs Denmark game…all I can say is that it must have been a very slow news day, though I’m guessing that Mrs Miggins’ missing cat was still the lead story.

So an early start and getting up in the dark just so that we can squeeze as much into our few days in Cape Town as possible. We’re off to drink copious amounts of wine surrounded by stunning scenery…I mean we’re off to a very civilised wine tasting in the Stellenbosch, Franshoek and Parl wine regions, apparently you’re supposed to spit it out!!! What the devil are they thinking? Spitting out perfectly good wine, I’ll want to get my money’s worth and enjoy both the taste and the effect.

A lovely guy called Dave turns up first thing to pick us up and already ensconced in the minibus are an American couple, Andrea and Xavier, we then drive across town to pick up four more day trippers which turn out to be from Falkirk, Willy, Kevin, Barry and Scott. They’re out here for a holiday and a bit of football regardless that Scotland didn’t qualify, in fact for the first time ever I’ve heard a Scot say that he would like to see England do well, refreshingly different to the usual ‘anyone but England’ standard Scottish answer.

After torrential storms last night, so much so that the ceiling of our hotel room was leaking in the massive downpour, this morning is clear bright and for the first time we can see the top of the glorious Table Mountain and Lion’s Head Mountain…stunning.

Talk in the minibus is all about football and when we get to the first vineyard which is renowned for sparkling wines, Andy and the Falkirk boys are still talking football non stop while the poor wine guide guy is patiently trying to explain about the wines to what appeared to be a bunch of heathens knocking back bubby and talking tactics.

We visited a couple more vineyards before lunch and all of us soon really got into the wine tasting, it was really interesting to learn about the different processes and blends and the wines were gorgeous, despite small measure of each one, I was starting to feel a bit squiffy and when we arrived at Fairview vineyard I though I was seeing a live goat at the top of a small stone helter skelter, now the wine over here is strong but I didn’t think I’d drunk that much! I consulted Andy who could also see it but thought it was mechanical, on closer inspection it was indeed a live goat at the top of a stone helter skelter, brilliant!

The reason for the goat is that this particular vineyard had won a famous legal case when they were taken to court for using the name ‘Goats Do Roam’ on their bottles, needless to say this really really Pee’d off the French, though Fairview won the case and they continue to use the name ‘Goats Do Roam’, ‘The Goatfather’ and ‘Goat Door’ the French are probably absolutely seething.

We stopped for lunch at a great place called Franshoek, a very colonial/New England little one street town and invited Dave our wine guide to join us. It turns out that Dave is originally from Walsall in the West Midland but him and his wife have been here for thirty five years, on first meeting him we assumed he was South African as he has a gentle South African accent but on closer inspection he had a little twang of a black country accent which was a hilarious combination…don’t think I’ve ever heard a South African crossed with Walsall accent before, had the sudden urge to call him ‘bab’ though.

A great lunch, followed by more wine tasting (hic) and then a really great unexpected surprise is that just next to the last vineyard we visited was a Cheetah sanctuary. Now I’ve never been known to leave a drink before but I couldn’t resist and Andy and I left our fellow drinkers and skipped over to see the cheetahs. They are absolutely amazing creatures, so graceful and beautiful. I instantly forgot all about the wine tasting and we spent some time just watching them and watching people stroking them (they’d been hand reared and were very placid). The numbers of wild Cheetahs had been diminishing fast over the last few decades as they are shot by farmers looking after their sheep, so the sanctuary funds the breeding of very large Albanian Shepherd dogs which have a ferocious bark and are raised with the sheep flocks which makes them fiercely protective though they are an extremely effective and humane deterrent to cheetahs looking for lunch as the dogs can’t catch the cheetahs but will scare them away, which in turn stops the farmers shooting and trapping the cheetahs. Thanks to this project the cheetah numbers are on the up in South Africa.

So all in all, a fantastic day, good wine, good company, I forgot to mention the cheese and the olive oil but that was great too and the amazing cheetahs…who says alcohol and wild animals don’t mix!

Early night as we’re getting up in the dark again to make the most of Table Mountain, a bit of strenuous trekking for a few hours will help work off the gorgeous food and wine we’re been consuming (well probably not).

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Oranges & Bacon

Monday June 14th June posted Friday 18th June (Andy’s blog)

We decided to head down to the Holland vs Denmark match at Soccer City, Soweto and see if we could get a couple of tickets from the touts. Dom, Nat, Simon, Pilks and Chris were going too, so we took two cars this time as Dom, Nat and Pills were headed off straight after the match, to Durban I think.

One unusual aspect of the Johannesburg skyline is the mine dumps which are scattered on each horizon. These are mini Table Mountains, but man made and are made from the waste slag from the mining process, gold mainly. Due to technological advances, these mine dumps are now being reprocessed for their gold deposits, so will eventually disappear. More on the gold issue later, as it seems to be one of the key issues for this country going forward.

We passed the Orlando Pirates’ stadium on the way, which is not owned by the football team, and is currently shared with the big local team, the Kaizer Chiefs (note the man who started the team hates it if Kaizer is spelt Kaiser!). The Chiefs, who produced Phil Masinga and Lucas Radebe who played for Leeds, are set to move back to Soccer City once the World Cup is over. There seems to be some controversy about whether that legacy will be fully utilised. Controversy about the legacies is another key feature of this tournament.

On a lighter note, we swung into Soweto proper by turning left at Snazzy’s car wash, next to Snazzy’s petrol station, adjacent to Snazzy’s
snack bar and Snazzy’s corner store. Looks like Snazzy was a big player in Soweto. Soweto is massive and we are told there are three million people living their. Famous amongst other things for the protest by students and school children in 1976 against being taught Afrikaans and their ensuing skirmishes with the police, Soweto became the symbol for black South Africa against the ruling white apartheid regime. Much has changed in the former township and houses are being built. However, as with much in this beautiful country, the whole project is very much work in progress and there is still plenty to do. Nike have built the superb the Soweto Soccer Training Centre as a legacy project and it was here we parked the car and took a bus into Soccer City. It turns out that a friend of mine, Steve McKevitt, led the design team back in the UK that designed all the graphic imagery used at the centre. Small world eh? Getting smaller I hope!

Conversation on the bus centred around poor old Robert Green again. Jokes being spun by a couple of the local lads who worked for Nike. ‘God save the Green’ and ‘Green’s computer had developed a virus and it can’t save anything’ tickled me in a quasi ironic way, but it was all well intentioned. Everyone out here is mad on football and so many of the lads know more about English football than most England fans. From Thomas the security guard at Dom’s who is a walking encyclopaedia of world football to the lads on the bus, to the boys who work in the hotels and bars, through to every taxi driver, football knowledge is both deep, accurate and ubiquitous.

We had a pleasant drive to the ground, arriving a full two and a half hours before kick off, to allow for ‘ticket acquistion’. Five minutes after parking I found a local lad and parted with 800 Rand ( about £80) for two tickets, which felt like a great deal given our England tickets for the first round have a face value of $140 USD, thank you FIFA.

The sun was out and very hot and the armosphere created by the Dutch all bedecked in orange along with the Danes was first class. The Vuvuzelas could be heard throughout and added to the good humour. What a pleasant experience, more so being neutrals and not having the stress of having to endure an England performance for once! Happy days. The stadium is impressive, like a slightly larger Wembley inside and pretty steep. We were surrounded by locals all who were full of smiles and laughter. The game passed without much really happening if I am honest. Holland’s subs did not warm up at half time, and good old Jubulani managed to fly through the air and bounce high at every opportunity, spoiling the game for the most part. So much so that it was only 15 minutes in before the crowd started a Mexican Wave which lasted a full five minutes. Even the goalies got bored with the ball and punted it to one another without any other player touching it. Holland looked solid all over the pitch and should progress to the second stage easily enough.

Getting out and back to the Nike centre was easy enough, unlike the previous time the stadium was used, when all the bus drivers went on strike over pay and conditions which happens a lot out here. I am never sure who is in the right, employer or employee, but it is happening all of the time. Everytime you ask the question as to why this is happening more than not, the answer comes back ‘this is Africa’.

The perfect footballing afternoon, a carnival atmosphere and totally relaxing. Only one blip really as we filed out of the ground we got talking with or rather talked at by a couple of old school white blokes. One of them asked me, ‘why do you think there are holes in the outside shell covering the stadium?’. When I replied,’ because it is part of the design and let’s light out at night’, I was told ‘no man, it is because the bloody Sowetans have stolen them’, followed by guffaws of laughter. Obviously I nearly laughed myself to death, given this boorish oaf’s hilarious gag, ignored him and walked off in the opposite way. Anyone laughing at their own jokes is somewhat suspect in my view, but to be openly dismissive was somewhat cliched. Still cliches are their for reason aren’t they? Let’s hope that these two were the only dinosaurs in the crowd of 83465 at Soccer City that day.

Home and hosed, we caught the Italy vs Paraguay match on TV later that evening over a few beers. The Italians were pleased to get a draw, looked a little toothless up front, but still looked a tough team to beat. The weather was appalling, rain litterally falling out of the sky, not boding well for our next stop Cape Town.

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Taking Table Mountain by stealth

Just a quick word to say we went up to Table Mountain today, a full report summing up leaving Johannesburg and arriving in Cape Town will follow as we had an absolute  blast, but what a place. Heavenly. First up, best dressed as they say – we were literally numbers 3,4 and 5 on the mountain at 8.30am. Walked for 4 hours and came down by cable car just after noon. Happy days. Been so maxed out since we travelled down from Johannesburg we literally have not stopped. Gulp.

Anyway, intending to get up and sort all that out with some remedial typing first thing tomorrow. That’s the plan anyway. Meanwhile, here is a picture of Kirsty and I atop Table Mountain, the rain has stopped, the wind dropped and the sun came out for us. Smile.

It was windy, but warm. What is not to like?

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